Individual Therapy

You’re reaching out for help, so I know why you’re here.

You’re here because something isn’t working right for you.

You may be in pain because of a current relationship, like an affair or recent divorce… or maybe you’re just dissatisfied with your spouse.

Or you might struggle within yourself… with constant negative thoughts causing intense sadness, worry, and general unhappiness.

You may even have some unresolved issues from relationships or trauma from your past.

Whatever brings you here, one thing is certain…

You don’t want to keep living this way, and you’re ready to do what needs to be done to change it.

Jim* was at the end of his third divorce. He was sad and confused as to why this was happening once again. Jim knew he must have some part in it, but he was also angry about it. He was doing his day-to-day activities but had trouble figuring out his next steps and letting go of the past.

Carla’s* husband wasn’t a bad guy, but it seemed he just didn’t get her. They’d get in fights, and she’d try to tell him how she felt and what she wanted from him, but she’d still end up feeling disappointed, upset, and unsupported. Carla was unhappy. She didn’t want a divorce, but she didn’t know what to try anymore.

Gwen* came to me because it had already been six months after he broke up with her, and she was struggling to make sense of it and figure out how to move on. The four-year relationship and the dreams of her life together with him were crushed. Gwen was mad at herself because she wasn’t over it yet, and she was mad at him for the way he ended it. She was in her mid-30s and needed to move on but didn’t know how. She was worried that maybe some of the same things would happen with the next guy, too. She felt alone, sad, frustrated, and just wanted to move forward in her life.

But it’s not always easy to know what to change or how to change it.

We all do what we think we are suppose to do – trying to make things better on our own. In most cases, the problem is that we are doing things that were role modeled to us incorrectly while growing up, or we do things the same way our little kid part of us figured out how to do things from our childhood, and none of that works.

If we really knew what to do that would actually work, we would have already done it. That’s why we all need help to get out of our own perspective and know what will truly work to get us to where we want to be.

At the end of his third divorce, what he was doing was throwing all his energy into his daughter. That wasn’t an all bad thing. But he had basically given up on his own life. He had stopped working out, and he had stopped hanging out with his friends. And he still had to move out and find his own home but was overwhelmed with that step, too.

When her husband would be a jerk and not support her or do what she hoped he would do, she would tell him what he was doing wrong. That would always end in a fight. But many days she would just give up and give him the silent treatment. But in both scenarios, she only felt more disappointed, sad, and alone.

Being in her 30s, she knew she had to get back out there and meet new people, but instead, she threw herself into work. She repeatedly thought about what went wrong, which also became conversations with her friends. But what made it worse was she had to see her ex at work, too. And when that happened, she really got stuck and spiraled into all her negative self-talk and gave up on the idea she’d ever find anyone else.

Here’s what I can do for you…

Over 25 years of working with people just like you, I have created a program that will give you the results you’re looking for. Here’s how we’ll work toward your success:

Providing you a safe, nonjudgmental space…

We all need to know what we think, feel, and do is normal and just being human because we constantly question ourselves in our heads. Throughout our work together, I help you know this about yourself. When you are in pain, being judged is the last thing in the world that you need.

Meeting you where you are with compassion…

Before you can trust me and know that I am there for what is going on for you, you need to experience that I get you. Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” For you and me, that means that you feel my presence and care regarding your struggles. I will come alongside you in your pain, but I won’t leave you there.

Making sense of your pain…

We want to understand the depth of your pain and what is bringing you into therapy. Compassion and nonjudgment are great, but I wouldn’t be doing my job if that was all I did for you. I come in when you are struggling and in pain and don’t know why or what needs to happen. My job is to help you make sense of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions. After 25 years of doing this, I am excellent at asking the right questions to help get to the bottom of the why for you.

Connecting you to your past…

We’ll do a deep dive into your past to understand how it’s gotten in the way of what you want for your present and future. For you, I want deeper, permanent change. I don’t want you to find yourself repeating old patterns and once again asking why.

So, I will take the time to dive into your past to connect how it keeps coming up in the present. What I know is you can’t change something if you aren’t even aware of it. And that is where my deep dive assessment comes in. At the end of this process, I will actually draw on paper a physical picture of who you are and why you are that way.

Here are a few quotes from people after they experienced this part of the process:

“This is a good fit for me, and it is so freeing.”

“It’s not every day your life is put down on paper. I feel so recognized.”

“It feels very accurate. Now I feel known.”

“Now I understand why and it all makes sense to me why my brain works this way.”

“I’ve learned more about myself in my time with you than I’ve known in my entire life.”

Giving you practical tools…

The whole point isn’t to leave you with this deeper awareness. It is to help you move forward in your life, stop repeating the old patterns, and start doing new things that will get you more of what you want.

You’ll learn practical tools and skills to help you manage the thoughts, feelings, and reactions that keep getting in your way. I will teach you how your brain works during our time together and then give you tools to manage your negative thoughts and feelings better. You will learn all the most effective ways to manage difficulties in your life, and I will teach you how to speak up and stand up for yourself in ways that will actually work.

You will leave our time together confident in knowing what you can do to get you what you want in your life and relationships.

Reshaping your brain…

Our goal is to lock down all the ways you change your thinking and behavior – how you’re incorporating what you’ve learned in therapy into your day-to-day life.

At the end of our work together, one person told me, “It’s all second nature now.” And that’s what I want for you, too.

Making a plan…

Don’t worry; I always start and end with a customized plan just for you. Together, we will craft an individualized, prioritized plan of action for better relationships and a better life.

If you feel unsupported and want a better marriage, I’ll get you there. If you need help to get over a relationship, I’ll get you over it and know how to pick better and evaluate for success in the next relationship. If you are unhappy or feel you have lost who you really are somewhere along the way in life, I’ll get you reconnected to yourself and bring you to a place of true internal confidence and contentment.

At the end of our work together:

Jim’s moved out, goes to the gym, and out with friends. He even has some dates here and there, too. He told me he is calmer and content with who he is and his life now.

Two years after we ended, Carla texted to thank me for all my help and then shared that she and her husband were happier than ever before. And they just brought a baby girl into the world.

At the end of our work, Gwen said she never imagined being over him and so happy with herself, but she was. She has been dating a wonderful man that she could never have imagined would be in her life. A month after the end of our work, she texted me a picture of them and the ring. They just got engaged.